moneylogues | ic contact; victory

Like you wouldn't bitch and whine if you got scratched or some shit. You'd just do it for the attention.

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PLANET IS SCREWED UP!

Um, excuse you, when do I ever bitch? [...] Don't answer that.

[Because lbr Jack's not too far off the mark.]

Ugh, yeah. Yeaaaah, I know. It's almost making me start to miss Chorus and that's... that's just sad.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You'd be all 'oh Jack, the bear hurt me, I got blood on my stupid orange clothes....'

[Jack can't keep a straight face any longer and descends into snickering.]

I get it, buddy, I get it. I'd go for a weekend on Pandora just for the chance to shoot some assholes!

Wow, I think there's something wrong with this audio feed, because I'm sure you meant to say STYLISH.

[Boys you're both fashion disasters...]

It's the worst. I mean, some downtime is fine, like, pshh, whatever. But never this long. Feels all wrong, sitting still.

No, I think I actually meant 'garishly, headache inducing stupid'. You dress like a backup dancer from a homemade Halloween Poketube video. The only time your clothes ever look good is when they're in a pile on my bedroom floor.

[Says the man who dresses like a coat factory dumpster hobo.]

Felix?

I really wanna kill somebody.

Oh, right, because you're one to talk. You wear how many layers? Because I literally can't keep track of it. I know how to keep things simple and classy, thank you.

[Felix there's nothing classy about BRIGHT ORANGE.]

Yeah... Yeah, same here.

I haven't gone this long without it in ages. I mean, damn, back on Chorus, no matter what side I had to be on, there was always a steady supply of people who juuuust couldn't wait to give their lives for their cause. And who was I to deny them that?

I seriously need to shoot and/or stab somebody again.

Excuse me? Layering is a staple of high fashion! These are layers of designer clothes! I'm a friggin walking runway show!

[No one is a winner here.]

I had a space station full of mooks to mess with. Anybody pissed me off... I strangled the guy I took over from in his own office. Right at his desk. Nobody even gave a shit, 'cause who's gonna tell the dude who did that 'no, you can't be our new president'?

It's...it's the strangling I really miss. Real strangling, where you've got somebody under you and you're just squeezing so hard and their eyes start to bug out and get all red and they can't close their mouth and there's all this panic and desperate fear as they try and pry your hands off their trachea. Then there's that perfect, satisfying little crunch....

[Jack's tone is both wistful and....excited.]

What, did a blind person tell you that?

[Why are they like this. Why are they the worst.]

Ha ha, holy fuck, seriously? Now that's fucking ballsy! Shit, that's one way to become the new boss!

Poetic. [Look, there has to be at least one snarky comment to that to acknowledge how fucked up this is. And now that's out of the way.] I mean, I'm like the last person ever to judge, but damn dude. I'm not even the strangling type and you're just about making me pumped up to strangle the shit out of someone.

And I haven't even done that in fucking years, I'm pretty sure.

You're a blind person!

[When all else fails, childish turn arounds.]

Oh, yeah. Used my watch chain. Dude had no idea what I was gonna do, he was trying to fire me. I wasn't having that. Told ya I was a self made man!

....I'd, uh...I'd like to see that. You strangling somebody. That'd...

Yeah.

Oh, excellent comeback. Gee, I'll have to remember that one!

[Because upping the sarcasm isn't also totally childish. Obviosly.]

Shit. That's an excellent move. Yeah, I'd say you earned that company.

Would you now? Because if I could strangle someone right now, trust me, I'd be arranging it as we speak.

[Felix, stop... f....lirting.....?]

Oh screw you.

[These are your super villains, Johto.]

Damn right I did. This was after I saved the friggin thing from some crazy group of soldiers.

...oh yeah babe, talk brutally unnecessary violence to me.

Does that even work when you're clearly into that?

[yeah screw him indeed, Jack.]

Pretty sure all groups of soldiers are crazy. Like... by default? It seems like a requirement if you ask me. [Of course his last few experiences with soldiers have been... uh... yeah.] ...Acknowledging the irony of me saying that, as a former soldier.

Hey, hey, it's very necessary violence. [To him. Because it's enjoyable. All that matters.] Sometimes you just gotta watch the life drain from someone up close. Maybe while they're choking on their own blood at the same time, because why not?

....Fine, then no screwing for you, how 'bout that?

[Truly, they are the height of witticism.]

Yeah, probably. Eh, you don't count. A dude who was in an army isn't necessarily a 'soldier'. You're kinda lacking all that noble idealizing of war and the whole patriotic loyalty thing.

[Felix is different. He's a merc that used to work for a military, as far as Jack can tell. And anyway, there's way more important things to focus on. Despite the threat he opened with.]

Mmmm, and they kind of twitch under ya and a little bit of blood trickles outta their mouth and you just know something's really messed up inside of'em...and they gurgle...

I'm wounded. You wounded me.

[You even get a Dramatic Sigh, Jack, aren't you proud?]

Pfff, yeah, I always sucked at that. I mean, I was a stupid kid once, but never that stupid. And anyway, anyone who went through the war I did and came out of it feeling patriotic is a brainwashed moron, if you ask me.

[And there are many of those, to be fair, but who cares about them. They suck.]

Ha! Yeah, now there's an agonizing way to go. When you can just see 'em slowly die, but they're all panicked, looking around like there's fucking anything that can save 'em anymore.

And see, that's where a knife is real nice. Getting up close, knowing exactly where they're messed up inside, 'cause you can feel that shit with the blade still inside 'em. Even when it's just a quick stab, it's so intimate.

Edited 2017-03-11 03:36 (UTC)

Well that's what you get! For...whatever it was that started this.

[Wait, what were they arguing about again?]

[It doesn't even matter at this point. Jack's pretty focused on one particular bit of their conversation. Super focused. He's kicked his pokemon out of the room and...well, we all know what he's doing on the other side of the line.]

...tell me about your knives.

ic contact; victory_road

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